You find someone who has proven to love you unconditionally, you get engaged, plan your happily-awaited for wedding, day ‘I do’, and enter married life. 

“It can’t get better than this; I love them so much it almost hurts, so I don’t think I could love them more.” You might reason it to be so.

Then, a corner is turned: you learn something, implement it, and what you find is more lovely, beautiful, and giving - more than you imagined possible. 

If marriage is a mountain-trek, I feel we have just summited Everest. But, even though I feel that way and revel in God’s wisdom and handiwork in our lives, I know now that what I think is Everest might be only halfway up the mountain. It seems impossible to be so, and yet...!  

What I learned:  

Find what your spouse needs, and give it.  

Find what they need, and give it to them.  

Need, not want.  

My husband and I just took the KLLP Test, and I found out something I never knew about him, and I tested it out (just to be sure).  

The short version is, the test was right. It was so simple, but I hadn’t know it before. Now here we are - and it’s sheer euphoria. Sweeter closeness, precious acts of service, true and kind words of affirmation, irreplaceable quality time. 

Whether you can’t imagine your relationship being better (because, honestly, there ARE so many relationships where altruism reigns and happiness oozes), or you can’t imagine it being any worse, or somewhere in the middle, I’d encourage you to learn about your spouse in all the ways you can. Counseling, personality tests, temperament tests, love languages, alllll the tests. And when you learn something about them that is a quality or aspect they need - give it to them. Don’t try to spoon-feed the ones you love with what you need when their needs are likely very different.

When you give someone what they need without expecting in return, you free that person up to give and love, both genuinely and generously. 

Cheers to love!  

Xoxo, Mrs P