Before we said “I do”, we spent some time thinking and praying about what our marriage was going to look like. And while you can’t control life, you can choose a very large part of life.

In the Old Testament, men were instructed to take a year for their wife after they became married: no battles, just be at home and love on her, “learn to please” her.

In Korean tradition, so I have been told by many Koreans, couples don’t have anyone live with them for their first two years, and if a child is born in those first two years, the grandparents take the baby to raise it until the two years have expired. After those two years are up, the parents move in with the couple to help with the responsibilities of a home and children.

Daniel and I looked around us at young marriages that seemed less than happy, and noted that usually it was the first year in which something went wrong, and we noted in several cases the couples had 1) renters; 2) expectations not clarified; 3) a lack of realization that anything you go through, you need to go through well because this is now your life, forever until death do you part.

So, armed with counsel and a bit of information, we made a commitment: No commitments outside of work for us for the first year. Secondly, we would not have any guests longer than a few weeks.

This was to safeguard our growing and learning phase, the time where we set the groundwork for happy ever after, which we believe and have always (perhaps naively, some might say) believed is entirely possible and merely a choice.

Some newlyweds struggle with balancing time with extended family, work, and other commitments after the wedding, and while everyone needs to make the best decision for themselves, I do think there is a massive blessing and benefit to committing yourselves to pleasing each other and being present wholeheartedly for 1-2 years at a minimum. “Leave and cleave”, right?

Now, we’re quickly approaching our 2nd Anniversary, and I’m grateful for this time we’ve had. I’m sure we will largely continue our commitments into forever, but having a solid vision for the first two years has been beautiful and precious.

Cheers to Happily Ever After,

xoxo, Mrs P